I felt so crummy all last weekend. Down and crummy. I described it in my previous post.. Monday my oldest daughter turned 31... I am a sentimental slob and get all reminiscent of that day 31 years ago... And I think of all the peeps that were in my life... Many of whom I am still in contact with, some because of facebook! I always think of Roxy because we were both pg... her due date was March 23. Mine was April 2. We started out making our appointments together, going to the same doctor in Coquille. But alas, I couldn't stand that doctor and after the 2nd appointment, I bailed and went to Coos Bay to another doctor.
We compared our symptoms... At that time we both took Bendectin... It worked well for me, but made her sleepy and she had to work. She was a dental assistant... She had a pretty rough time as the smells in the office made her sick... But if she took Bendectin, she couldn't stay awake. We would compare office visits, positions of the baby. Their movements. ETC. (Bendectin got pulled because it was feared it might cause birth defects.)
Well, my baby girl, Danica, was born on her due date, March 23rd. Roxanne's Nathan was born exactly 2 weeks later on April 6. So I always think of Roxy.
Then there is Debi... I always think of Debi this time of year too. She and her friend Pam had just finished up their BSN at the University of Oregon School of Medicine in Portland and had called a few days before to announce that they were taking a bike trip and could they use our home for a stop! We were so excited! We went to the North Bend Bridge (McCullough Bridge) to pick them up... They were exhausted lying on the ground asleep. But we loaded them and their bikes into our little Toyota and took them to our little rental house. On March 22, 1978, I got up and made brownies for Debi and Pam and Bob's lunch. I fixed a real country breakfast. Bob left for work. Debi and Pam began loading their bikes to take off to California.. I felt a wet spot in my undies... and I knew i hadn't peed... and it kept leaking... So I tell Debi and Pam... 2 graduate nurses... that I think my water is leaking... So Debi follows me into the bathroom and says that it looks like it might be... and they tell me all the signs of infection to look for.. all the ins and outs of losing amniotic fluid.. of dangers etc... Then they tie on their kitchen sink... A rectangular rubbermaid container, with their dishsoap and sponges in it.. And drive down my driveway and they are gone! I called my mom, and we got hold of Bob's boss and I am sure I called Roxanne because we talked every day... sometimes more than once. This all started another adventure at the Doctor's office, where I ran into my buddy Reitha, who was there with a sick Andy (young son)... She felt my tummy and said that it wasn't tight anymore... I had lost enough fluid that it was soft and spongy now.. (this to say that I always think of Reitha too). That continued at the hospital, where Debby (I always think of her too) worked as an RN and stayed past her shift and spent all night with us and was the reason we knew all about the unquestionable miracle that Danica was born healthy the next morning at 5:41 am... It was a joyous day... she was beautiful and I felt so happy! (and exhausted!) The adventure of the hospital miracle will have to wait for another day.
On Tuesday morning I got on Facebook, as is my new habit. I had a message in my inbox... YEAH! Somebody thought of me... I still am struggling with that shaky, sinking feeling... But when I opened my Facebook email, I was smacked with a shock that nothing could have prepared me for. It was from Roxy's sister, Tina. Roxy's youngest son, Jason had taken his own life the day before. On Danica's 31st birthday. Now I am not the sharpest knife in the drawer, but I began to wonder about God's Mysteriousness and the feelings I had had.... because I have had feelings like that before, just to discover that something tragic had happened or almost happened. I kinda think it is an intercessory thing, but can't prove it. So I am not about to jump on a soapbox about it... But I had been thinking a lot about Roxanne those past few days, just because of the time of year it was. So I am going to try to pray more for my friends and their concerns, when I think about them and get that shaky feeling. God's ways sometimes are very clear.. But when it comes to things like intercession... I have found that my perception of God's ways to be Imperfectly Clear. His Mysterious Ways...
Many things have been brewing inside me because of Jason's death and I may blog more later, but this is it for now.
